It has really been a long time since i felt the emotions that i have long experienced. Haha, really wanted to post all the random and fun stuff that happen to me the past month, like Prom, Jakarta and Sigil :D but i think i shall note it down for the time being and come back to it again some other time. For now, i want to write about something a bit for surreal and closer to my heart/goal. Lol, that sounded so corny haha hope no one ever reads this. I am just really happy for everything. Really, I truly am.
A goal, i need a goal. For my new year's resolution i really want to have a goal. A job will be great but i want to be passionate about something. I want to do something that has to succeed for so much that i am willing to give everything and anything up to get it. My sleep, my thoughts, my time, my energy and my dreams. It is always wonderful to see someone chasing and working hard for a goal they themselves set because the difference can be felt. I may be imagining it, but i believe i told myself before that a person chasing after his dream will always have a glitter in his eyes and have an aura that is golden. An unfathomable feeling will emerge from your depths and respect will follow. Not because of his accomplishments but because of his passion and the fire within. Currently, i am lacking that fire. It really has been a long time since i wanted to do something that will blaze my senses. Most of the time, they are events such as Titans, Library meeting and other co-curricular activities. I don't enjoy planning events because of the efforts but i enjoy feeling the satisfaction at the end. It really meant i did something worthwhile in life and not idle it away as i am doing so right now. I want to smile, i want to cry and i want to scream in anger but everything is dull. Dull as the night sky. I never pushed my barriers and sacrifice everything to get something, i wonder when that time will come... I mean, i push myself hard for studies because i know of its importance and i did not really regret anything, maybe chem a little, but i know i gave it everything i had in the end. But i really never had a feeling where i could die to achieve something. Sometime, i believe it is because i am too sheltered and my exposure is low. Maybe, just maybe, my vision is too narrow which is why i can't see what i truly want. My parents expectation or those of my friends will affect me, because i am the kind of person that is easily affected. I want to have a night where i do nothing and think about my life, my experiences with someone whose mind is of the same wavelength but i still haven't found one. Hmm, shawn was probably the closest i had in the past. Goals, ambitions and future..., i miss my mates. All of them, from primary to Junior college. The time was short and my classmates were always changing but i always enjoyed it. The gossiping, the lying, the scoldings, the playing, the laughing and the smiles. I always have such thoughts because of inspirational movies or manga, mostly manga. And this last time was Suzuka and this time was Ichigo 100. I re-read again and everything just clicked into place. I envy those with dreams for the future, daringly pursuing it. It takes guts, guts which i lack. I want a goal so badly that my heart will burn and ache if i don't have it. I want to have a dream job. That is all. God, if you truly exists, help me find it. Haha, sorry to disturb you though. I think, just maybe i may start learning it... the song i wanted to play 4 years ago. Just maybe... i may start achieving my plans slowly but surely... I have to start small don't I ? Yup, something small first will do. A small step with change.
|
SOLITUDE
|
|
|
|
|
|
entries
profile
tagboard
linkage
others
|
|
|
Passion and Goals - Thursday, December 23, 2010 @ 8:04 AM
|
|
|
Passion and Goals - Thursday, December 23, 2010 @ 8:04 AM
It has really been a long time since i felt the emotions that i have long experienced. Haha, really wanted to post all the random and fun stuff that happen to me the past month, like Prom, Jakarta and Sigil :D but i think i shall note it down for the time being and come back to it again some other time. For now, i want to write about something a bit for surreal and closer to my heart/goal. Lol, that sounded so corny haha hope no one ever reads this. I am just really happy for everything. Really, I truly am.
A goal, i need a goal. For my new year's resolution i really want to have a goal. A job will be great but i want to be passionate about something. I want to do something that has to succeed for so much that i am willing to give everything and anything up to get it. My sleep, my thoughts, my time, my energy and my dreams. It is always wonderful to see someone chasing and working hard for a goal they themselves set because the difference can be felt. I may be imagining it, but i believe i told myself before that a person chasing after his dream will always have a glitter in his eyes and have an aura that is golden. An unfathomable feeling will emerge from your depths and respect will follow. Not because of his accomplishments but because of his passion and the fire within. Currently, i am lacking that fire. It really has been a long time since i wanted to do something that will blaze my senses. Most of the time, they are events such as Titans, Library meeting and other co-curricular activities. I don't enjoy planning events because of the efforts but i enjoy feeling the satisfaction at the end. It really meant i did something worthwhile in life and not idle it away as i am doing so right now. I want to smile, i want to cry and i want to scream in anger but everything is dull. Dull as the night sky. I never pushed my barriers and sacrifice everything to get something, i wonder when that time will come... I mean, i push myself hard for studies because i know of its importance and i did not really regret anything, maybe chem a little, but i know i gave it everything i had in the end. But i really never had a feeling where i could die to achieve something. Sometime, i believe it is because i am too sheltered and my exposure is low. Maybe, just maybe, my vision is too narrow which is why i can't see what i truly want. My parents expectation or those of my friends will affect me, because i am the kind of person that is easily affected. I want to have a night where i do nothing and think about my life, my experiences with someone whose mind is of the same wavelength but i still haven't found one. Hmm, shawn was probably the closest i had in the past. Goals, ambitions and future..., i miss my mates. All of them, from primary to Junior college. The time was short and my classmates were always changing but i always enjoyed it. The gossiping, the lying, the scoldings, the playing, the laughing and the smiles. I always have such thoughts because of inspirational movies or manga, mostly manga. And this last time was Suzuka and this time was Ichigo 100. I re-read again and everything just clicked into place. I envy those with dreams for the future, daringly pursuing it. It takes guts, guts which i lack. I want a goal so badly that my heart will burn and ache if i don't have it. I want to have a dream job. That is all. God, if you truly exists, help me find it. Haha, sorry to disturb you though. I think, just maybe i may start learning it... the song i wanted to play 4 years ago. Just maybe... i may start achieving my plans slowly but surely... I have to start small don't I ? Yup, something small first will do. A small step with change. |
|
|
profile
 Bryan a.k.a Nutty Male. 17 Schools: HONG wEN(1999-2000) TAO nAN(2001-2004) CCHMS(2005-2008) Temasek JC ( 2009-..._) |
|
|
tagboard
Another time, perhaps...
|
|
|
others
Credits:
Layout ;
Icons ;
Inspiration .
Previous Posts: Mayhem and Disaster ; 10 and 7 ; Dreams and the Night ; Hopes and Reality ; Grades and Manga ; Results and Boredom ; Past and Future ; Intersection and Intermission ; Titans and Closure ; A pause to remember ; Previous Months: January 2009 ; February 2009 ; July 2009 ; September 2009 ; October 2009 ; November 2009 ; December 2009 ; January 2010 ; February 2010 ; March 2010 ; April 2010 ; June 2010 ; July 2010 ; August 2010 ; September 2010 ; October 2010 ; December 2010 ; January 2011 ; May 2011 ; July 2011 ; August 2011 ; September 2011 ; October 2011 ; November 2011 ; December 2011 ; January 2012 ; February 2012 ; March 2012 ; April 2012 ; May 2012 ;
|
|